Potter: Surviving preparations to become an ‘American Ninja Warrior’

I just finished another semester of teaching; another semester of sitting on my butt — a lot. Another semester of drinking soda and eating chips while grading stacks of college essays.

And now I’ve got a gut.

Yes, I look down at myself right now while typing this column and there’s a big old gut. Maybe it’s not much to you (or maybe it is), but it’s not what I’m used to and I really don’t feel good about it.

Quite suddenly I find I’m feeling a little sheepish for ignoring the multitude of people who have challenged my unhealthy lifestyle; people who said Pepsi and Oreos is not lunch, that drinking two liters of Kool-Aid is not the same as drinking two liters of water (even though it goes down just as smooth).

I’m finding that I can’t do a lot of the physical things I used to; a lot of the things that I should be able to do as a survival columnist. But this isn’t a New Years resolution column. This is not me promising a complete lifestyle change. I’ll have a Pepsi for lunch today, and probably eat some candy at my Lord of the Rings Risk game night tomorrow night. There is, however, one change I’m ready to make:

Becoming an American Ninja Warrior

Training for “American Ninja Warrior”: I’m a little flabby now, but you just wait!

My wife has been watching “American Ninja Warrior” (an NBC show where people compete through a series of increasingly difficult obstacle courses) with the kids, telling me repeatedly over the last few months that I should try out. I’ve largely shut that idea down, knowing that in my current state I wouldn’t have a prayer. At one time, though, I did.

When I was in my early to mid-20s I worked construction, and I was fit. I was 50 pounds lighter and jumped around multi-story half-built structures with ease; lifting anything in need of lifting, framing and sheeting anything in need of framing and sheeting, and drinking lots of water. It was my work, but also a lifestyle, and it allowed me to do other physical things without specifically training for them.

I went to a rock wall, for example, with my then-fiance. I had never climbed a rock wall in my life, but to show off, I picked the hardest one; the one that slanted outward toward the top at a sharper and sharper angle.

I rocked it (ha, ha). A small crowd even gathered at the bottom to watch. My wife heard one of them say “We should send that guy to Iraq. He’ll take care of Saddam all by himself.” I was going to say “not to brag,” but I am bragging — and proud of it. I was really proud of what I had just done, because my lifestyle involved being really physical.

So I’m beginning my training for “American Ninja Warrior” by making it part of my lifestyle. After I become a Ninja Warrior, I don’t want to let it all go when I’m no longer in training (like I did a couple years ago when I ran a half marathon). I’m molding my training from my everyday activities — and it’s working!

In just the last week, I’ve found opportunities for exercise I’ve been missing, such as tree climbing and attempted pull-ups, Running instead of biking with my 5-year-old learning to ride her bike, Benching my chubby 3-year-old, And doing a lot more yard work, all of which not only works me out, but makes my whole family incredibly happy. So yeah, I rock.

Updates on my Ninja status forthcoming, and if you have a good exercise for Ninja training, let me know. Email me at tonypotter@eastIdahonews.com.