5 ways to help you heal after a miscarriage

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Losing a loved one is never easy, and it can be especially hard when it’s your unborn child.

Ten percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage, according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, and it can be hard to talk about.

You’ve never held the infant in your arms, but you may still feel grief and pain at the loss.

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, and here are five ways to help you heal during those difficult times.

1. Talk about what happened

Turn to your partner, family, friends or even a grief counselor for support. Others may not understand your feelings, but you will find there are many other women like you. You may feel strong emotions—or you may not even feel sad. This is the same with your partner. Respect his feelings and ask him to respect yours.

2. Don’t blame yourself

Miscarriages are sometimes blamed on the mother, but about half of miscarriages happen because of an unusual chromosome count, which is not something you can control. Exercise, working outside the home, sexual intercourse and morning sickness do not cause miscarriages. Keep yourself as healthy as you can and relax, because it’s not your fault.

3. Your emotional health is important, but don’t forget your physical health

You can expect bleeding and cramping similar to your menstrual cycle for a few days after the miscarriage. You may even have to get surgery. Eat healthy, exercise lightly and sleep well.

4. Memorialize the loss

Some women plant trees, buy jewelry, donate to charities or observe anniversaries to help them memorialize the infant they lost, according to The American Pregnancy Association . You may even choose to name your baby. Just remember this was a real loss, and you have the right to remember your infant in the way you see fit.

5. Give yourself time

Everyone heals at their own rate. You may decide to have another baby as soon as you physically can, but give yourself plenty of time to heal emotionally. You should talk with your doctor, especially if you’ve had more than two miscarriages in a row. Most women who have miscarriages give birth to healthy babies later.

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